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"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." • "I don't have a drinking problem except when I can't get a drink."
• "Colder than a well digger's ass"
• "I knew him when he was nothing and he hasn't changed a bit"
• "I'm so goddamn horny the crack of dawn better watch itself around me."
• "Coleen's belly was shaking like jelly And I'm getting harder than Chinese algebra."
• "I'm not weird about it or anything (masturbation). I don't tie myself up first or anything."
• "All the donuts have names that sound like prostitutes"
• "There's a world going on underground"
• "There ain't no devil, there's just god when he's drunk"
• "I know a girl, she been married so many times, she got rice marks all over her face"
• "My friends think I'm ugly, I gotta masculine face."
• "I don't need no make-up, i got real scars, i got hair on my chest, i look good without a shirt"
• "Yeah, and I was using parking meters as walking sticks!"
• "The moon was sharp enough to draw blood from a stone"
• "I stay in a place called 'Rooms'... There's a whole chain of them."
• "I've lost my equilibrium, my car keys and my pride."
TOM WAITS
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